She Cries For Him
by cizzie
Summary: Grissom and Sara have a baby, but things aren't as happy as they might seem. Set after Dead Doll. My first CSI fic. Not currently posting but I will start again soon
1. Through the night

**Title: She Cries For Him**

**Summary: Grissom and Sara have a baby, but things aren't as happy as they might seem. Set after Dead Doll. (My first CSI fic)**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: None of the CSI characters are mine. **

**Chapter 1:**

She was trapped. She desperately clawed at anything her hand could reach, but it was useless. Anything she grabbed soon slipped through her now mud lined hands. She was sure she was going to die there. Even if the weight of the car pushing down her didn't do it first, she would surely die of dehydration if she wasn't found soon.

Her eyes shot open in the same way that had done every other night since the accident. She looked around her to make sure she wasn't back there, trapped under the old car. The room was exactly as it had been before she had fallen asleep and entered the nightmare, but there was one small difference. The room she had left was quiet and peaceful; the only sound was the soft breathing of the two other people she shared it with, Gil Grissom and their baby daughter Ashley. The soft breathing coming from the cot had changed to a small whimper. She was awake.

Sara crept out of the bed and lifted the little girl out of the cot before she had a chance to wake Grissom who seemed to still be asleep. She closed the door quietly behind her although there was really any point, she would be waking him soon enough after many failed attempts to get their baby back to sleep. Still reflecting on the nightmare she had just had she picked up the bottle that had been left on the kitchen table the night before, ready for the feed she would expect in the night, and sat down giving her daughter the bottle.

It had been 10 months since the accident, it had happened the day she found out she was pregnant and 2 months since she had Ashley. Why was she still dreaming about it? She felt perfectly safe at home, at work and even at the crime scenes, but the memory of it always seemed to creep up on her when she was asleep.

Once the milk from the bottle had been drained, Sara placed the baby over her shoulder and gently patted her back, pacing the room. Ashley carried on crying as she was walked from either side of the room to the other. With each few turns she made her pace quickened, as she got more and more frustrated with the child. It seemed like she had been doing it for ages with no success when Grissom came out from their bedroom and offered to take over. She handed the child over to him while he was mid sentence, desperate to have a break.

"Have you given her the bottle?" Grissom asked putting the baby in the same position the Sara had had her in.

"Yes, of course I have, she just won't go back to sleep!" Sara snapped back before throwing herself onto the sofa and coving her face with her hands. She had always had a short fuse, but it seemed to have gotten shorter since the baby was born.

It only seemed to take Grissom seconds to settle the baby. Her eyes started slowly closing as she rested her head on her fathers shoulder.

"How did you do that? I was trying for ages." Sara whispered in disbelief.

"Don't worry, you're new to this. You'll get the hang of it." Grissom replied calmly.

"Don't patronise me, she's your first baby too!"

Grissom didn't have a reply for this; he didn't know why Sara had trouble settling her own baby.

"I'm going back to bed." Sara said before sulking back into the other room, leaving Grissom standing with the baby, as she did most nights.

Sara woke up later that morning and dragged her self out of bed to check in the cot. Ashley was lying there sleeping peacefully. Sara smiled to herself as she carried on into the kitchen. There was a note propped up against the kettle.

**Short staffed at work, gone in for a bit.**

**Love you, Gil**

Sara sighed whilst she screwed up the note and threw it into the bin. That meant she had the day alone looking after Ashley. She didn't like those days. Normally she would plan to something, like a visit to some friends, so she wouldn't have to spend her time walking up and down the room holding the screaming child.

The clock on the table flashed as it turned 6.00 am. She hadn't noticed how early it was when she had gotten out of bed. If she went into the lab now, the night shift would still be there and she could have a chat with them and maybe even get a chance to carry on with some of the work she had being doing a few nights before when she had had her first day back.

She pulled some cloths on and brought Ashley's car seat into the bedroom. Slowly she moved the sleeping child into it, careful not to wake her up. She then strapped her into the front seat and drove off to the Las Vegas crime lab.

--

"Hey…Not interrupting something am I?" Sara asked, pushing the door of the break room open and peering inside.

"No, not at all, but then again, would you care if you were?" Nick smiled at her.

"No, not really." Sara returned the smile.

She entered the small room and placed the car seat in the middle of the table. Before she had even managed to put it down the small child was swarmed by people cooing and making funny noises at her.

Thankful that they hadn't asked her any questions, Sara made her way over kettle and poured her self a cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter and did a quick scan of the room to check who was in there. Greg, Warrick, Catherine and Nick were the only ones in the room, no Grissom.

"Where's Gil?" Sara asked, lowering the coffee from her lips.

"Down in the morgue going over our DB. Do you want me to go get him for you?" Warrick replied, prising his eyes away from the little girl.

"Oh no, I was just wondering."

By this time Greg had lifted Ashley out of her seat and was now cradling her in his arms talking to her.

"You have your moms eyes, yes you do, and your dads nose and… urg what that smell." Greg extended his arms and held the baby at arms length. "Sara, I think you better take her now."

Sara panicked at this. What if Ashley started crying while she was holding her and wouldn't settle? Everyone would think she was a bad mother; she didn't want them to know that she was.

"Erm, I have to go and find Gil, there's something I have to talk to him about, can you just change her for me, everything's in the bag…"

Without even waiting for an answer she had rushed out of the room and was out of sight.

"What's wrong with her?" Warrick asked as he followed Sara with his eyes down the hall until she was out of sight.

"Must have been something pretty important she had to tell Grissom about." Nick pointed out, failing to notice the obvious.

"Are you a CSI or what, man? I just told her Griss was in the morgue, and she ran the opposite way to it. She wasn't going to find him."

"Look I don't what Sara's playing at, but I don't have a clue how to change a baby." Greg said, still holding the child at arms length. "You take her Cath."

Greg pushed the baby into Catherine's arms, wiping his hands on his jeans as if something may have rubbed off on them.

"Hey, why me? Just because I'm a women I should do the dirty jobs!" Catherine protested, before lying the baby down on the sofa and walking over to the bag.

"Yeah, and you're a mother!" Greg replied.

Catherine ignored his comment and fished out what would be needed from the bag, and putting it in a small pile on the table.

"Look its not that hard, surely three fine CSI's like yourselves should be able to figure it out. I'm going to go and find Sara."

Catherine left the room leaving the three guys standing in a state of shock, staring at the baby like they hadn't seen on before.


	2. A worrying visit

"Hey Sara, you in here?" Catherine gently called into the women's toilets. She got no reply, but that wasn't going to fool her. She pushed open the cubicle doors checking for her, with no luck until she got to the end.

"I know you're in there, so just open the door…" Catherine pleaded, leaning against the wall, showing no signs of leaving until she did.

Sara, knowing she wasn't going to be able to get the older CSI to leave by calling over the door, unlocked it and emerged.

"Did you find Grissom in there?" Catherine smiled, knowing that she definitely hadn't been going to find him. Sara's glare back showed that she knew too.

"Oh, I'm sorry. What happened? You practically ran away from us."

"Sorry" mumbled Sara, trying to stop the tears leaking from her eyes again.

Catherine pulled the brunette into a hug, hoping that it would make her thoughts just spill out. It had always worked with Lindsey.

"She hates me." Whispered Sara into her shoulder.

"Who? Ashley?" Catherine pulled away from Sara so she could see her tear stained face.

Sara nodded and turned her head away, she hated people see her cry. She had spent most of her life proving to people that she was strong. She wasn't about to let her other side show.

"Oh, Sara. She's just a baby…she can't hate you." Catherine relied rubbing her shoulder.

"What, so its me that's crap then? If it's got nothing to do with her then it must be me!" Sara stormed out of the toilets and down the corridor, leaving Catherine with out a clue as to what to do next.

---

"No that's the wrong way round!" Warrick stated as Nick laid the nappy down on the table.

"How do you know? I don't remember you having a baby in the past? Something you're not telling us 'Rik…" Nick laughed, turning it over.

"No, it's just common sense. Why would they put the pictures on the back?" Warrick replied as the door opened.

"Grissom, you're here! How do you manage to do this everyday?" Greg said, shaking his head, while handing the baby over to her dad.

"You just learn to do it don't you. I didn't know Sara was planning on coming in today…" Grissom commented laying the little girl down on the table and getting to work.

"I don't think she really knew either…" Nick mumbled, turning around, pretending to be deeply absorbed in some case photos.

"Does she seem alright to you Griss? She just seemed to be a bit all over the place earlier." Warrick questioned.

"She's just tired I think, with coming back to work and everything she's not getting much sleep." Grissom said. He had been putting all of Sara's behaviour down to lack of sleep recently. "Where is she anyway?"

"Talking to Catherine, not sure where they went." Greg replied, bending the truth slightly. He wasn't lying to his supervisor, Catherine had said she was going to go and find Sara, so they were probably talking by now. He had just missed out the bit about Sara running out on them, it would only make Grissom worry about her and make her cut down on hours, but was that such a bad thing to happen?

Grissom just nodded his head and put Ashley back into her car seat, rocking it slowly back and forth till her eyes started to close. He then motioned to the others to keep an eye on her before leaving the break room.

Greg, Nick and Warrick sat round the table, carrying on with their paper work from that night's case. Every few minutes they glanced down at the sleeping baby, surely being a parent wasn't too hard, after all this baby seemed to sleep all the time.

The door swung open and Sara walked in, her hair obscuring her face. She had positioned it like that in the hope that they wouldn't notice her tear stained eyes, even though she knew that it was pointless.

"Hey Sar…you alright?" Nick asked, tilting his head slightly to try and make eye contact with her.

He always tried to do that when he want her to tell him something. It had worked a few months ago when he had found her sitting by a car in the garage, staring into space, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to go under it to process. It had taken a good half hour to get her to admit that there was even a problem, be he had got there in the end.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We're just going to go home now." Sara replied turning her back on them and picking up the car seat.

"My shift finishes in a bit, I could come round and…" Nick offered, but was cut straight off.

"No, there's no need. I'll probably be asleep anyway. Really, don't."

"Alright then…" Nick reluctantly agreed.

"So do you think she's really alright?" Greg asked, once Sara was out of earshot.

Nick and Warrick didn't even open their mouths. A solemn look and a shake of their heads said it all.


	3. Slipping under

She threw her keys down on the table and left the car seat down on the floor, before throwing herself onto the couch. She couldn't stop the tears any longer and they came flowing down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. She blocked out everything, the baby crying, the phone ringing and the radio buzzing in the background. She just wanted time on her own, time to think, but that was so common anymore.

---

It was finally the end of their long, gruelling shift and Warrick and Nick were on their way out, walking past Grissom's office.

"Night Griss" Nick waved in through the doorway.

Grissom barely lifted his eyes off his work as he mumbled back goodnight.

"You not getting off now?" Warrick asked.

"No, I'll be here a good while still." Grissom replied glancing over at the big pile of files to his right. "Sara won't be impressed, I promised her I wouldn't stay late anymore."

"And she believed you?" Nick joked.

Grissom smiled as the two younger CSI carried on out of the building.

---

After moving her daughter into her cot, Sara went into the bathroom and turned on the taps, filling the bath with hot water. The steam rose up and clouded up the mirror, distorting the image it reflected. She turned on the music, it was a CD that Grissom had bought her, it was meant to relax you. This would be its ultimate test. She climbed into the bath and put her head back. It wasn't long till screaming from the next room interrupted her. She leant over the side of the bath and reached towards the CD player, turning it up so it drowned out the noise. She then lay back down and closed her eyes again, turning the razor blade around in her hand, contemplating whether she could do it.

---

"I think I'll go and check on Sara..." Nick said when he reached his car.

"I though she said not to bother?" Warrick replied, raising his eyebrows. He had known Nick hadn't believed a word she had said.

"It can't hurt. She's hardly going to kill me for caring."

Warrick gave him a look to say are you sure, but Nick chose to ignore it.

"She'd be able to kill you easily. Do you want me to come too?" Warrick asked.

"You know you don't have to make excuses to say that I'm right. You want to see that she all right as much as I do. " Nick smiled getting into the drivers seat of his car while Warrick did the same with his car.

---

Nick pressed his ear up against the keyhole, listening for Sara voice but if it was there, it was covered by babies' screams and blaring music.

"Hey Sara, it's Nick and Warrick, open up!" Nick called in through the wooden door.

"She probably can't here you." Warrick said, looking round for neighbours that might be staring at them.

Nick knew that wasn't possible. If he could hear Ashley, then Sara could hear him.

"Sara, open the door now or I'll break it down!" Nick shouted through the door again and continued to pound his fist against it.

"Break it down? That's a bit drastic don't you think…" Warrick said, shaking his head.

"She could be hurt, she was pretty depressed this morning." Nick looked stunned at what he had just said.

"Wait, you don't think she would…" Warrick replied. All this time he had been thinking that his friend was in there trying to calm her baby, while Nick was thinking she was trying to take her own life.

Nick looked at Warrick, who gave him a nod in return. In seconds the door had been slammed back on its hinges and Warrick and Nick were entering Sara and Grissom's living room.

"Sara!" They both called entering each room. Warrick was the first to reach the nursery, but he found only Ashley in the crying in her cot.

Nick rushed out the room and checked the others, whilst Warrick lifted out the baby and gently rubbed her back.

On reaching the last door Nick found it locked. He banged on it, like he had with the front door, but again he got no response. Without a second thought, he threw his shoulder against the door, popping the catch with relatively little effort. He gasped and took a step back as he saw the sight in front of him.

One of her hands hung limply over the side of the tub, the deep red blood trickling from the deep gash on it and forming a puddle on the tiled floor. Her pale face lay slumped over on her shoulder, her hair partly covering it. She lay there motionless, with her eyes closed, showing no signs of life.

**Thanks for the replies.**

**Sorry this part took so long to post. Hopefully the next one won't take as long, when you'll find out whether Sara is alive or not.**


	4. An awkward phone call

Thanks for all the replies, they do mean alot and I'm so sorry it took so long to post. This part is a bit shorter, but if I had carried on in this chapter to make it longer then it would have taken even longer to post.

"Sara…" Nick whispered, as he stood momentarily frozen to the spot in shock, looking at the sight in front of him. It took only a few seconds for his CSI instincts to kick in, he knew he had to check to see if there was a pulse or not. Maybe she was still alive, he was wasting time standing there staring, time that she definitely didn't have.

Nick skidded he was over to her and reluctantly place two fingers on the side of her neck. Faintly under his finger tips he could feel a faint pulse, even thought it was faint, it meant she was still alive.

"Warrick, call an ambulance!" Nick shouted as he grabbed a towel to wrap around Sara as he pulled her out. He laid her pale form down on the bathroom floor and held her hand, willing her to open her eyes.

Warrick stood in the door way as he took is phone out and and told the operator their address, stumbling on the words as he looked at the sight in front of him. Sara was sprawled out on the cold, tiled floor Her hair was spread out around her face, very dark in comparison to her pale skin. Nick was holding onto her hand with one of his, and the other was smoothing her hair back from her face as he whispered gently to her.

Not being able to wait there any longer, he walked back into the nursery where he had left the baby, sleeping in her cot. He slowly lifted the baby out of the cot and in her car seat, wrapping her up in a blanket that had been folded on the chair, ready for when they had to leave to follow the car to the hospital.

Next he took out his phone and dialled number one on his speed dial- Grissom. He wasn't sure how he would tell him, no matter how many different ways he quickly went over in his head; none of them would make it any easier to hear, or say.

"Grissom." Came the blunt voice through the phone. He obviously hadn't looked at his caller I.D, if he had there would have been more of a questioning tone in his voice as he tried to fathom in his head why Warrick would be phoning after he had gone off shift.

"Erm, hey Griss…" Warrick started, but wasn't sure how to carry on.

"Was there a point to this phone call or have you been working so much that calling me has become a natural reflex?" Grissom asked.

"No, Grissom. Nick and I came by your house to check on Sara, you know, to see if she was all right. There was an accident…" So maybe it wasn't an accident, Sara had intended to do it. When she was better though, she would realise what a mistake it had been. _If_ she got better. We've called an ambulance to take her to Desert Palms." Warrick finished.

"Oh my God…" Grissom rubbed his forehead with his hand as he tried to take the short burst of information in.

"We'll go with her and you can meet us there." Warrick waited for a reply but the other end of the phone stayed in deathly silence.

"Grissom." Warrick said sharply to bring him out of his trance. "Meet us there?"

"Oh yeah Warrick, thanks." Grissom said before he hung up the phone.

---

The minutes seemed like hours, as they waited for the ambulance to arrive. When it did, Warrick had to pull Nick away from Sara to give the paramedics room to help her. It took only a few minuets to move her onto the gurney and out into the ambulance. Nick and Warrick followed in their cars, with Ashley in tow, both dreading the outcome of their friends' actions.


End file.
